You ask your boss for feedback and hear, “You’re doing great. Keep going.”
You bring up your career goals and are told, “Let’s discuss them when things settle down.”
Three months later, nothing has settled down. Your boss is running from meeting to meeting, managing another reorganization, responding to senior leaders, and trying to retain a team with fewer resources. You need direction, feedback, and opportunities to grow, but every conversation seems to get pushed to a future that never arrives.
Before concluding that your manager doesn’t care about your development, consider what may be happening on their side. DDI’s Global Leadership Forecast 2025, based on insights from nearly 11,000 leaders, found that 71% experienced significantly more stress after stepping into their current role. More than half of those leaders were concerned about burnout.
This doesn’t excuse a manager who consistently neglects their team. It does mean that waiting for your boss to suddenly become less overwhelmed is not a strong career strategy.
Make it Easier for your Boss to Lead you
A broad question such as, “Do you have any feedback for me?” requires your boss to stop, review everything you have done, and formulate a useful response on the spot. But the typical response from an overwhelmed supervisor sounds something generic like: “Everything is fine.”
Instead, it would be more useful to give them something specific to respond to.
“During yesterday’s presentation, I felt that I lost the group when I explained the financial projections. Did you notice? What could I have done differently?”
“I would like to be considered for a larger client account. What are the top capabilities you need me to demonstrate first?”
“I’m deciding whether to deepen my expertise in this area or pursue a cross-functional role. Based on what you know about me and on my work, where do you think I could add more value?”
These questions reduce the mental work your boss has to do and increase your chances of receiving something useful. They also show that you have reflected on your development and are ready to act on the answer.
You can find more ideas for making these conversations productive in Managing Up: When and How to Do It Effectively.
Another thing you can do to reduce the load for your boss is to send them a short update before each one-on-one meeting:
- What I accomplished
- Where I need your decision or input
- What I would like to discuss about my growth
This keeps the conversation from being consumed by status updates and gives your boss time to think before you meet.
Build a Leadership Ecosystem Around You
One person is unlikely to provide everything you need throughout your career. Your manager may understand organizational priorities but have limited knowledge of the role you want next. A colleague in another department may help you understand that role. A former boss may give you honest feedback. A senior leader may be able to advocate for you when an opportunity opens.
Start identifying the areas where you need leadership support rather than looking for your boss to be the one mentor you go to for everything.
Ask yourself: Who helps me think more strategically? Who gives me honest feedback? Who understands the unwritten rules of this organization? Who knows my work well enough to recommend me? Who challenges my assumptions?
These people may include peers, clients, former colleagues, and professionals several years behind you. The Red Shoe Movement’s Mutual Mentoring approach recognizes that everyone has something to teach and something to learn and that we do best when we support each other. Someone with less seniority may have expertise or a perspective that you and/or your boss lack.
Keep your manager informed as you expand this network. You might say, “I know your schedule is intense, so I asked Priya if I could learn more about how her team handles regional launches.” A secure manager will usually appreciate your initiative, particularly when you are transparent.
If your boss remains unavailable despite your efforts, document the guidance you have requested and the development goals you have shared. Watch whether the situation is temporary or part of a lasting pattern. There comes a point when a consistent lack of leadership becomes career neglect, and you may need to explore another team.
Your boss can be an important source of leadership without becoming your only source. Take responsibility for assembling the feedback, perspective, support, and advocacy you need to keep moving forward because no matter what, you are always the boss of your own career.
