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What does done look like in your life & career

When it comes to getting the desired results, author Brené Brown suggests this question: “What does done look like?” to get everyone on the same page. Once people on a team are clear about what is expected of them, they can get to work.

Brown details how to use this technique in several of her books. The question is intended to drive honest conversations about when a task or a project will be considered complete. As part of the process of answering “What does done look like,” the leader makes sure whoever is carrying out the task has ownership, all the information, tools and resources needed. I believe we could use this question and the same kind of approach across many areas of our lives, not only to complete a project.

What does done look like when it refers to your goals

We live in an era of intensified competition. When success is often measured by your next great achievement. There’s little time spent celebrating who you are and where you are right now and a lot in working for the future. Granted, I’m an avid supporter of ambition. It clearly keeps the world moving and the human race progressing. Yet, there’s something to be said about the cost of not taking stock. Smelling the roses. Feeling good about yourself. Feeling enough. So why not ask, “What does done look like in terms of my goals? When will I feel I’ve reached them? What markers can I put in place to realize I’ve “arrived” at that destination I’ve set for myself?” And once you do, enjoy it for a while.

I’m not talking about becoming complacent. I’m talking about taking a solid break when you achieved your goal to savor the new place you carved for yourself. Who you are after achieving them. How much more confident you feel. How much more you could now do for others by sharing what it took to reach this particular stage in your life and career.

Take time to celebrate your achievements

Take time to celebrate your achievements

When is enough enough when you can’t get what you want

Conversely, there comes a time in almost everyone’s life and career when you have to cut your losses. Those occasions when after working for a long time towards a specific goal you realize you’ll never reach it. Whether it is a specific title, or client you were after, or discovering the formula to cure a disease or filing a patent. Whatever it is in your case, you arrive at the realization that it won’t happen. At least, not in the way you initially planned. When is it time to recalculate? To stop investing time, energy, money, hope in an idea that you can’t turn into reality? When is the right time to call it quits and move on?

As important as it is to have objectives that get us out of bed every morning, it is to keep a realistic outlook that enables us to recalibrate when things don’t go as expected. Persistence and grit are remarkable traits to have. They are what keep you going when the going gets tough, and they should also be put to use when you have the courage to stop going. When you sit with yourself, evaluate the situation and face a negative outcome you weren’t expecting. This is the perfect moment to talk to someone you trust who knows what you were trying to accomplish and can objectively advice you on whether it’s time to change the goal or the path to get it.

Keep a realistic outlook to recalibrate goals

Keep a realistic outlook to recalibrate goals

When are you done with your job

I work with female talent in large organizations for a living so I’m the last person who would advice you to quit without trying your best to figure out a way to stay in your company. Many women face difficulties with their organization’s culture and with lack of growth opportunities. My approach is to help them identify the problem and then the potential solutions. Yet, when you’ve tried everything, and serious problems continue to interfere with your career growth, or affect your health, there comes a time to question when enough is enough. What is that limit that pushes you to make a decision to leave?

What does that moment when you are done with your job look like? How do you know when you’ve tried everything? Who could help you figure out if you are seeing the 360 of the situation? If you actually did try all possible solutions?

It’s not smart to wait until you get sick, depressed or develop a serious case of insomnia before you make this type of decision. Once you reach a point when you dread going to work, you don’t feel appreciated, or you feel a lack of purpose, you’ve gone too far. So keep an eye out for telling signs that things are not going well at work. Reach out to trusted colleagues. Have a courageous conversation with your boss about how you feel and ask questions. “Am I missing anything? Is there anything I could/should be doing differently?” Stay curious and open to the insights people share and see if they resonate with you.

It’s important to figure out what may not be working before you jump to a different job to ensure you don’t end up in a similar situation.

Leveraging your personal traits in your job
When will you be done being busy

When will you be done being busy

What does done look like when it comes to being busy

Brené Brown talks a lot about the pernicious effects in our society of equating being productive and being busy with being successful.  It’s so much a part of our daily conversations:

“How are you?”

“Oh, busy, busy. And you?”

“Yes, super busy too.”

Sometimes it can feel like if you are not busy you are a loser.  But aren’t most of us trying to succeed so we have more time to enjoy life? So, when are you hoping to do that? When do we stop being busy to put our feet up? To take a vacation? To watch a movie with our loved ones? When are we finally done with all that busyness? When will you feel you’ve done enough, worked enough, checked enough boxes before you go home? Go to bed? Turn the phone off?

Integrating your work and personal lives

I know this post offers more questions than answers. And that is exactly my purpose. To get us all to slow down and think a little about issues that affect the quality of our lives. Taking the time to answer these questions can truly help you craft a much more fulfilling career and life.

Not being busy inspirational quote

Don’t let our culture’s push for busyness distract you from your real purpose.

Be a Magnet for Career Opportunities. Learn from Beth Marmolejos!

Wonder no more how to attract the best career opportunities. Beth Marmolejos is an example of how when you build a reputation of integrity and commitment, the opportunities find you.

Beth Marmolejos at the Red Shoe Movement Signature Event striking a pose with RSM Principle 2

Beth Marmolejos at the Red Shoe Movement Signature Event striking a pose with RSM Principle 2

Beth Marmolejos is an Executive Advisor in the IT Account Management area at Anthem (the largest for-profit managed care company within the Blue Cross Blue Shield association,) and she serves as the Chief of Staff for the Women’s Inspire Network Associate Resource group. But that’s just her day job. She’s also the President of the New York Chapter of Prospanica (formerly NSHBMA,) and the Vice Chair of the Passaic County Workforce Investment Board, among several other volunteer positions she holds. Beth has received many awards from local, state, federal, corporate and non-profit organizations for her leadership and community work. She has crafted a professional life that fits her style, her passions and her goals. It is through these multiple commitments that Beth Marmolejos creates career opportunities for herself and for those in her network.

As president of the NY Chapter of Prospanica (Formerly NSHMBA) Beth Marmolejos creates career opportunities for others.

As president of the NY Chapter of Prospanica (Formerly NSHMBA) Beth Marmolejos creates career opportunities for others.

RSM— You’ve had quite a career trajectory. Tell us about some of the highlights and how you tapped into the various career opportunities that presented themselves along the way.

Beth Marmolejos (BM)— I started my journey in the business world without a degree at an entry level in the Accounting Department at Express Scripts (formerly known as Medco Health Solutions.) While there, I was able to get my under graduate and graduate degrees, 80% of which were paid for by my employer —as long I got a B or better in my classes.

It took me over 10 years to obtain my education. I was able to move within the Finance area to different roles that helped me prepare for the role of “Controller/Director” of Finance for a subsidiary that my company bought. A subsidiary worth two billion dollars. That propelled me to a leadership position and it opened a world of career opportunities for me.

In 2013 I took a leap of faith and left to work in New York City for Empire Blue Cross Blue Shield under the leadership of the amazing Brian Griffin, who was a colleague of mine at Medco. The highlight of this move was that I got promoted within six months because I led a project that saved the company $1M.

Then, one of the senior leaders at Empire BCBS in NYC recommended me for an Executive Advisor role in IT as the Chief Information officer for the State of New York and Wisconsin at the Enterprise level for our Parent company Anthem.

Take note of the secret to attract great career challenges to yourself.

Take note of the secret to attract great career challenges to yourself.

How to find the most attractive career opportunities

RSM— You wear several hats. From being the CIO for NY and Wisconsin at Anthem to being the President of Prospanica NY Chapter and serving in different capacities on other non-profit boards. With all that’s already on your plate, how do you constantly find career opportunities to help you continue to grow?

BM— I don’t find career opportunities…they find me through senior leaders/mentors/sponsors who know my work, my commitment to their success and integrity.

RSM— What are some of the strategies that help you stay focused with each one of your multiple responsibilities?

BM— I have three main strategies:

  • Remain calm and focus on what you are trying to achieve
  • Surround yourself with positive people that help you stay on course
  • Don’t get distracted with things that steal your peace, keep your eyes on the price

RSM— Do you find that creating career opportunities for others is a natural way of opening doors for yourself?

BM— Absolutely! When you lift others up and help them by opening doors it creates an advantage for you. What goes around, comes around!

Make sure that you spread tons of positive energy around as you build your own career.

Make sure that you spread tons of positive energy around as you build your own career.

Learning how to network strategically is another way to open up career opportunities.

RSM— What are three top pieces of advice you’d give people looking for greater career opportunities within their organizations?

BM— Here you go:

  • Treat people with respect, be kind and a team player. That builds your good reputation which you can leverage to obtain better career opportunities within your organization
  • Be a can-do type of person – that is key to getting opportunities for senior roles
  • Be happy, positive and knowledgeable – that is a magnet that attracts people who want to work with you

RSM— Any different advice for those looking for career opportunities in a different company or who are currently out of a job?

BM— Yes, get involved in organizations such as Prospanica, of which I am the NY Chapter President, and you will have access to tons of career opportunities.

RSM— What’s the next big project you’re working on right now? 

BM— I’m focused on a couple of upcoming events we are organizing with Prospanica. Celebration of Achievements – where we will give out scholarships on 11/27/17 at Oppenheimer Funds.

And in honor of the International Day of People with Disabilities we have an event with the UN Nations at S&P Global on 12/14/17

At a personal level, my next big project is to obtain my Agile SAFe Training certification.

You can connect with Beth Marmolejos on Twitter and Linkedin

 

Skills and Talents of Pianist Make for Great Perfumer

So many of us grew up thinking that you need to have specific skills and talents to enter a career in STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering and Math.) That unless you are a nerd with a highly analytical and logical mind, you couldn’t enter the field. Today we interview a mother and daughter who prove our assumption wrong.

For the past 24 years, Judith (Jude) Hollingshead has developed perfumes for Olay, Pantene, Herbal Essence, Fabreze, Pampers and other P&G brands. Mind you, there are only around a thousand perfumers in the world.

Judith Hollingshead had the skills and talents of a pianist. She ended up studying Chemistry and entering a career as a perfumer.

Judith Hollingshead had the skills and talents of a pianist. She ended up studying Chemistry and entering a career as a perfumer.

When I first met her I was curious about what skills and talents are required to be a perfumer and how does someone even decide to become one. The answer surprised me and I wanted to share it with you. See, Jude is not the stereotypical nerd most of us imagine would choose chemistry as a career plan. She was a piano player who studied Chemistry and became a perfumer. And most of it happened because someone saw skills and talents in her that she didn’t yet see.

Because she was always curious and willing to try new things she explored the possibilities presented by others and has had an incredibly successful career as a result. Along the way she has raised, as a single mother, two children. Her daughter Shealyn, a very artistic child, is now finishing her sophomore year as a student of Chemical Engineering at Ohio University – Russ School of Engineering. We talk to both of them about their unusual experience.

Skills and talents required for the job

MD- You are currently a perfumer at P&G. What skills and talents does your job require?

Judith Hollingshead in the P&G lab

Judith Hollingshead in the P&G lab

JH- Perfumery is a blend of Art and Science. A perfume is made up of a blend of

100’s of individual ingredients. A perfumer needs to understand how the ingredients’ smell and how they blend together to form specific odor. For example, an orange is made of materials XYZ, and an Apple is made up of materials ABYZ. A perfumist needs to understand how all the 1000’s of materials smell and how to combine them to achieve a specific and pleasant odor.

So the skill necessary to become a perfumist is, first and foremost, an excellent sense of smell. Another skill that is a close second in importance is the joy of smelling, and desire to constantly want to push out on the boundaries of what is possible. Most perfumers are never satisfied with the perfumes they make, they are constantly working on making them better.

MD- Did you grow up wanting to be a perfumer?

JH- I grew up in the Midwest in the USA. I had a very traditional family. My mother was a stay at home mom who managed the family and my father was a banker

Some of the most important skills and talents Judith Hollingshead transferred from being a talented pianist into chemistry were her perseverance and drive to achieve perfection in her work.

Some of the most important skills and talents Judith Hollingshead transferred from being a talented pianist into chemistry were her perseverance and drive to achieve perfection in her work.

with a 9-5 job. I was not even aware that the career of perfumer was a possibility. In fact, I grew up not even thinking about having a “career” because I did not have very many role model females in my life for this. Throughout my childhood I studied piano, and as I got into my teen years I began to think about what I would do for the rest of my life. Since piano was such an integral part of my life it made sense that continuing to study music, specifically as a performance major in college, would be my course of action. And I pursued that thru about my senior year in High school. It was that year, that my High School Chemistry/ Physics teacher approached me to discuss my high aptitude for Chemistry, Math and Physic. And encouraged me to investigate this as career and major in College.

I am always up to trying new ideas so I began to investigate this direction as an alternative. I found the world of science that year and while I still play piano today and love classical music, I have never regretted becoming a scientist/Perfumer!

We can help you explore your interests and passions at any level of your career! Sign up for our Step Up Program!

MD- Which of the skills and talents needed to be a concert pianist could you transfer to a career in Chemistry?

JH- The most important skill that transfers from music performance to chemistry/perfumery is hard work, tenacity and the pursuit of perfection

As a performer you must work hard and practice constantly to get a piece to perfection. This is the same for perfume experiments. We are constantly reworking the blend of ingredients to make the perfume the most perfect execution of the idea that we have in our head.

Both represent a sensorial experience. A piano performance is an auditory sensory experience and a perfume is an olfactive sensory experience. And both should give the receiver of the experience a sense of pleasure and enjoyment.

Sometimes people see in you things you still don't. The interviewer at P&G saw in Judith's extra curricular activities something they were looking for. A creative person with a hard science background.

Sometimes people see in you things you still don’t. The interviewer at P&G saw in Judith’s extra curricular activities something they were looking for. A creative person with a hard science background.

MD- What exactly did you think you’d do in this field?

JH- My high school teacher was a huge influence to help me understand I had an aptitude for the hard sciences and the job opportunities that were available.

I realized that while I could always have music with me, that science was a new pursuit I would have to learn.

In college, I fully immersed myself into my science studies, I was not sure what I wanted to do, but as I went to Graduate school to pursue my doctorate, I started working in the area of superconductors and semi –conductors. This was an emerging area, and I loved the research.

It was only after I finished graduate school and started to investigate potential companies that the idea of becoming a perfumer became an option.

Definition of perfumer

Definition of perfumer

As part of the job placement services at Iowa State University, our resumes are posted for recruiting companies to review and request interviews.   Procter and Gamble chose me to interview. I had no intention of seriously considering working for P&G because they did not do work research in the area I had focused on in my studies. I was frankly surprised that they even wanted to interview me.

The interview took a strange turn as the interviewer did not ask me about my research or my work in chemistry, as was the case with all my other interviews. He continually probed me on the hobbies I listed on my resume: playing piano and needlework.

I finally asked him about this and he told me that P&G was interested in someone with a strong scientific background and with a strong interest, skills and talent in artistic, creative endeavors. He explained the job of perfumers, and I was immediately intrigued by the idea of being able to use both my creative, artistic side and my technical work. I loved the idea so much I took the chance and shifted my career to perfumery.

Here's a post about an orthopedic surgeon "I find my passion in the most unexpected places."

Like mother like daughter

MD- Shealyn, you are finishing your sophomore year in college. You’re studying Chemical Engineering but you also have the skills and talent to follow an artistic career. What made you decide to give engineering a shot?

Shealyn Holligshead

Shealyn Holligshead

SH- My mom was very persistent in showing me that I would exceed in my academic endeavors as a woman in STEM even though she knew I would be successful in the art field. What really persuaded me to turn my attention to STEM was that she showed me a Ted Talk by Debbie Sterling about a woman in the engineering field. This Ted Talk was about how Debbie created a children’s toy for young girls that will inspire them to build and create like most boy toys that are currently sold today. Her point was that most girl toys, like Barbie’s, teach girls at a young age to focus on building relationships not physical things.

Deb’s talk discussed her struggle to get through school as a woman in STEM, and then on getting her toy design to the market. This Ted Talk really caught my attention, and I decided that I should give STEM a shot because I have the creative ability to innovate. I just needed to apply this ability to a more advanced curriculum to create/innovate more practical inventions that I believe can have a larger impact on the world.

MD- Jude, what are some of the aspects of your career that you love the most?

JH- In my job I get to develop a perfume that is used by millions of consumers. I consider myself very lucky to be able to touch peoples live and make them more enjoyable. I love the ability to work on perfume design for our products. A tremendous amount of effort goes into making sure the right perfume gets combined with the right product at P&G. In addition to that, in other parts of my job, I get to also work on technical upstream research this allows me to use my technical scientific talents. I have the best of both worlds.

Skills and talents needed to enter a career in STEM

MD- From your own individual experiences, what recommendations do you have for young women and their mothers regarding careers in STEM? Do people need to have a specific set of skills and talents or should a wider range of women give careers in STEM a try?

JH- Having a career in the STEM field can be exceptionally rewarding and I believe we need more women to bring their viewpoints to the problems of today. So many women are brought up to believe that they are nurturing, caring or creative and that this is the direct opposite of STEM. It is a misconception that STEM careers require highly logical and analytical mindsets. In reality, we need MORE highly Creative people to be trained in STEM to develop new Inventions and solve today’s problems in NEW and CREATIVE ways.

If you have creative skills and talents you (or your child) may find great satisfaction in a STEM career. Make sure to explore the possibilities!

If you have creative skills and talents you (or your child) may find great satisfaction in a STEM career. Make sure to explore the possibilities!

Another post on finding your passion with your nose you'll love.

SH- When I talk to young women who are considering going into the STEM field, the first thing they ask is, “how hard is the schooling and the work?” It took me aback the first few times I heard this because I never considered this when I chose Chemical Engineering. Maybe this was because my mom is a woman in STEM and my whole life I saw how possible it was to succeed in this field. I never considered the difficulty. But being asked this many times has given me the chance to really consider how to answer this question. It has led me to my most common recommendation for young women:

Whatever you choose to do for your education and/or work life is going to be difficult whether it is STEM or not. It is going to take a lot of work and effort to be successful in any field you choose. So, if you are interested in STEM fields, go for it!

My experience has been that every class I have taken has been nothing but foreign and intimidating to me. The only way to get through it is to just apply yourself and do the work. Eventually, it won’t be so foreign and intimidating. After working thru a class for 15 weeks, by the end, you will be close to mastering the material if you put in the work. I strongly believe that a wider range of women should give STEM a try, especially if you have any interest in science, math or technology.

I would never recommend it, however, to someone who has no interest in these topics.

 

You can connect with Jude Hollingshead via email at Hollingshead.JA@pg.com or on Linkedin: Judith Hollingshead.

She shares her artistic endeavors (weaving, sewing quilts, knitting and other lace making techniques) on her Instagram: Judeh22

You can reach Shealyn Hollingshead at: ShealynHollingshead@gmail.com or on Linkedin under Shealyn Hollingshead.

 

Finding a Mentor to Propel Your Career Forward

If you are the first in your family to go to college or to work in a large organization, and you didn’t have many professional role models growing up, you may not be fully aware of the value of finding a mentor. Yet, the sooner you realize it, the better for your career prospects.

The practice of mentorship systems goes back to ancient Greece and to the beginning of most religions. But the modern use of “mentor” and “career mentorship” in the U.S. started in the mid 70s. That’s when advocates for workplace equity tried to identify and address obstacles for the career growth of non-dominant groups.

Inspirational mentoring quote by Marisol Gonzalez

Finding a mentor is a wonderful way to make your journey a much more fulfilling one!

Marisol Gonzalez, Producer at HBO, shares the impact of mentors in her career: “I have been lucky enough to have great mentors. People who believed in me even when I didn’t believe I could do something.  Mentors have impacted me greatly.  They have guided me to be the best I can.  They have pushed me to always work towards excellence.  The biggest impact that my mentors have made in my life is that I know I am not alone on this journey. They have my back, and they are there for me.”

Is there a process for finding a mentor?

Well, if you’re not surrounded by professionals in your field, finding a mentor is a task you must undertake deliberately. You should join professional organizations and attend conferences where you can easily meet the right people. Start developing the relationships as you would with anyone else, and eventually establish either a formal or informal mentoring relationship. Most people’s first mentors tend to be their bosses. The advantage here is that your boss knows your job, the culture of your organization, and your field. The disadvantage is that if conflict ever arise with your boss, then you have nobody to consult with.

Finding a mentor inspirational quote by Will Robalino

Most mentors agree that they derive great satisfaction from seeing their mentees’s dreams become realities.

So you may start with your boss and then set out finding a mentor outside of your organization. Keep in mind that you can have more than one mentor and you can also change mentors as your career evolves and your interests change.

Informal mentoring relationships

Also, when finding a mentor, it’s good to admit that many mentoring relationships are pretty informal. If you have a relationship with someone you really trust, admire and like, you may be able to “use” them as your mentors without formally asking. These can be very fulfilling and productive relationships. Lily Benjamin, SVP Leadership development and organization transformation at a large financial institution in the banking industry, shares:

Two women talking

Have you ever tried this powerful modality of mentoring?

“I have never had a formal mentor, but have had many informal mentoring relationships.  Everyone has valuable attributes that we can learn from, whether we admire or disapprove of them.  Given that we, humans, are evolving creatures, to become our better selves, it is imperative that we are conscious and open to continuous learning.  Being humble and receptive is necessary to make the best out of our relationships with either formal or informal mentors.  That is why I believe the Chinese proverb that says, ‘when the student is ready, the teacher will appear.’  Because I am a perpetual learner, I learned from my mentor-figures how to think critically, network, and be respected.  As a result, I am very comfortable with ambiguity, navigating through complex matrix environments, and building meaningful relationships in support of everyone.”

Difference between formal and informal mentoring

Some research shows that finding a mentor and establishing a formal relationship results in more promotions than informal relationships. So besides having a supportive group of informal mentors, you should find someone who understands what it takes to make it in your field. Someone with whom you can establish a more formal mentoring relationship. That means, someone you meet regularly, who sees your potential, challenges you to achieve what you sometimes feel impossible, and helps you set your goals.

What you should know before you go off finding a mentor

Before you go off finding a mentor you should know that research shows that diverse employees (and women) tend to have less access to mentors in their organizations. And often, when they are assigned mentors, they tend to be of lower hierarchical level. Inevitably, this affects the access that the mentor has and the probability he or she will become a sponsor for the mentee. So, if you find yourself in this situation, it may be time to talk to your boss or to the HR team so you may be paired with an executive who can mentor you.

It’s also worth understanding why someone would invest time in your development. To this effect, the answers from these two executives resonate with most mentors I know.

Lucía Ballas-Traynor, a senior marketing and media executive, said:

Lucia Ballas Traynor mentoring quote

It’s important to know your potential mentor’s motivation for investing time and energy in you.

“My main trigger on mentoring others is the fact that I did not have mentors who truly understood the unique challenges faced by a Latina early on in my career.  I had no one to turn to when I needed advice, words of encouragement or just a likeminded sounding board who could share lessons learned from their real-world experience, when I needed it most!  I find that companies and leadership (especially male-dominated) are not taking the time to coach and develop the next generation of professionals.  Consequently the need for mentorship has increased.”

William Robalino, VP, Controller at Prudential Annuities, shares: “There are many reasons I enjoy mentoring. My biggest is the satisfaction I get in seeing someone’s goals and interests become a reality.”

Don’t miss my article on coaching and mentoring where I review different types of mentoring relationships.

The more you know the value you can bring to you mentor, the more productive the relationship. And the more interested your mentor will be in investing time in you. That’s why my biggest recommendation is: Think of the mentoring relationship as a two-way street. Bring as much value to your mentors as they bring you. Explore your mentor’s agenda, their goals, their aspirations and find ways to support them.

Role model inspirational quote by Mariela Dabbah

Role model inspirational quote by Mariela Dabbah

Role models inspire you by showing you what is possible with their own example. Mentors help you manifest your dreams and goals. They can help make the impossible possible. So surround yourself with the greatest mentors to achieve your greatest potential.

And if you are serious about finding mentors and coaches to propel your career forward, consider joining our Step Up program.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

How asking for feedback can propel your career

It’s hard to argue against the benefits of asking for feedback. Only by finding out other’s perceptions of your performance can you make the appropriate adjustments.

As this Harvard Business Review article points out, asking for feedback is an invaluable learning tool that we should use as a coaching device for ourselves and for others.

Recently, at the end of one of our RSM Step Up monthly coaching sessions, Jess, one of our members, asked: “How could I get my colleagues to tell me the negative things, not only the positive things?”

Feedback sign

Asking for feedback is the best way to grow in your career

It’s not always easy to get people to give you useful feedback. As a matter of fact, we could almost divide people in two groups. Those ready to commit honesticide (homicide by honesty) who would tell you the harshest truths without regard for the consequences, and those who’d rather protect the relationship and hold back telling you anything that could potentially offend you.

The thing is, people from the second group could be your best allies in fulfilling your career goals. If they shared with you opportunities for improvement you could substantially accelerate your growth. The secret lies in knowing how to ask for feedback.

Only by finding out other's perceptions of your performance can you make the appropriate adjustments

Asking for feedback is an art! Learn how to master it!

The art of asking for feedback

Asking for feedback and getting all the feedback is an art. Because you must convey that you want to hear the truth and that you are not just fishing for compliments. And so that we are clear, the art is not only in asking for feedback but in knowing how to receive it gracefully.

Here are a couple of examples that will help you move from receiving purely positive feedback to one that includes some negative aspects you can work on.

Asking for feedback the right way

Q— What did you think of my participation on the panel?

A— Wonderful! You had great energy up there!

Q— Is there something I could’ve done differently to be more impactful?

A— Well, perhaps you could’ve highlighted a bit more your team’s participation in reaching the goals.

Q— Ok. Anything else you would’ve done if you had been in my place?

A— Mmmm… Maybe I would’ve avoided making a joke about how badly women drive. I know it was a joke but it’s a stereotype and some people found it offensive.

What would you do if you were in my place? Do you want real feedback? Show your vulnerability!

Nothing like showing your vulnerability to receive both positive and negative feedback

Q— I’d like you to give me feedback on my performance and areas where I could improve.

A— You’ve grown a lot in the last six months and you’ve taken risks that have exposed you to new experiences. I think you’re on the right path.

Q— Thanks! It’s true that I’ve grown a lot but I have the impression that some of my colleagues don’t feel comfortable with me and I can’t figure out why. What am I missing?

A— Not sure what you’re referring to…

Q— They don’t ask me to take part in their projects and although they are very diplomatic with me, something is off. What have you noticed? What have you heard them say about me? It would really help me understand their perception of me to make any necessary changes.

A— Well, sometimes you come across as very critical of others. I’m not sure if it’s because you have high expectations or why but people resent it when you seldom have a word of recognition for a job well done, yet you always have a critical comment at the ready.

Q— Ah… thanks for your honesty. Sometimes, I think my biggest contribution to the team is to notice what doesn’t work. You know, what works well already works. It’s a mistake on my part and I will change.

Feedback sign

If you want to accelerate career growth you should seek the input of those you work with.

The key of getting this kind of more nuanced feedback is to be vulnerable and dig beyond the initial comments. Make the person feel comfortable enough with you so they take the risk of sharing any negative feedback that they anticipate you taking too hard. And of course, the second key is that this exercise only works if you are open and drop any defenses. The moment you start denying what someone is telling you, you can be sure that person will never talk to you honestly again.

Asking for feedback has so many advantages that once you get over the natural aversion most people have to hearing constructive criticism you’ll identify many more opportunities to continue your development.

This is exactly the type of coaching we do at the RSM Step Up Program. Check it out!