For many women, talking about money still feels uncomfortable. We’ve been told not to be “too demanding,” warned that negotiating could backfire, or praised for being “team players” who don’t rock the boat. Meanwhile, research continues to show that women earn less than men for the same work—and that the gap widens even more for women of color.
The reality is this: if you don’t advocate for yourself, you’re leaving money—and power—on the table. Talking about compensation is strategic. And the more unapologetic you get about it, the faster we shift workplace norms for everyone.
Here are 6 Steps you can follow to approach raises, contracts, and equity conversations with confidence and clarity.
Step 1: Do Your Homework
Walking into a negotiation blind is a recipe for underselling yourself. Knowledge is leverage.
- Research salary benchmarks. Use sites like Glassdoor, Levels.fyi, and Payscale to find market ranges. Don’t forget to factor in your location, years of experience, and industry.
- Ask peers discreetly. Normalizing money conversations among trusted colleagues is one of the best ways to break pay secrecy.
- Know the company’s financial health. A startup with tight cash flow may not be able to give a huge salary bump, but they might offer equity. A profitable corporation may have more flexibility.
Example: Ana, a product manager, discovered she was being paid 15% less than the industry average. Armed with data, she negotiated a raise that not only matched the market rate but set her up for future promotions.
3 Compensation Conversations Women Should Have
Step 2: Frame It Around Value, Not Need
Employers aren’t paying for your rent, your kids’ tuition, or your bills. They’re paying for your impact.
Instead of saying: “I need a raise because my expenses have gone up,” say:
“Over the past year, I’ve led three projects that generated $2M in revenue. I’d like to discuss aligning my compensation with the value I’m delivering.”
This subtle shift keeps the conversation professional, persuasive, and hard to dismiss.
Step 3: Practice Saying the Number Out Loud
One of the most common mistakes women make is hedging: “I was hoping for maybe around…” or “I don’t know if this is possible, but…”
Stop apologizing for asking. State your number clearly, then pause.
One good way to get over the nervousness around asking for what you want is to practice saying your ask in front of a mirror, with a friend, or even on a voice memo. The first time those words leave your mouth shouldn’t be in front of your boss.
Example: Rehearse a line similar to this: “Given my track record and comparable market rates, I’m seeking X.”
Step 4: Expand the Conversation Beyond Salary
Compensation isn’t just your paycheck. It’s the whole package.
- Equity: For startups or high-growth companies, equity can become life-changing wealth.
- Bonuses and commissions: Ask how they’re structured and whether you can negotiate.
- Benefits: Flexible work, extra vacation, childcare support, or professional development budgets often have huge value.
Step 5: Prepare for Pushback
Sometimes the answer will be “no”—at least at first. That doesn’t mean you walk away empty-handed.
- Ask: “What would it take for me to reach that level of compensation?”
- Request a timeline: “Can we revisit this conversation in six months?”
- Get clarity: Sometimes budgets are frozen, but managers still have flexibility with bonuses or perks.
Resilience is part of the process. Every negotiation plants a seed for the next one.
Step 6: Remember—You’re Not Just Negotiating for Yourself
Every time you negotiate, you’re setting a precedent. You’re also modeling behavior for other women in your organization.
When you normalize asking for more, you make it easier for the next person. And when leaders see women advocating for fair pay, it starts to chip away at the outdated stereotypes that hold us back.
No Apologies
Talking about money is about knowing your worth and making sure it’s recognized. You don’t have to be the loudest voice in the room to negotiate well. What’s important is that you are well prepared, clear, and unapologetic.
So, the next time compensation comes up, drop the qualifiers. No “just,” no “sorry,” no “if it’s not too much trouble.” Instead, walk in with data, state your value, and make your ask with confidence.
Because at the end of the day, money isn’t just a paycheck. It’s a reflection of how much your contributions matter. And you deserve every dollar you’ve earned.
If you’d like to develop this and other power skills, subscribe to our Step Up Women program now!
