Don’ t waste energy in people who are jealous of your success. Learn how to deal with them in a positive way: Help them achieve their own success! Read how!
The closer two people are in age, education and background, the more competitive they can be with each other. Look around: people jealous of your success tend to be your peers and even your siblings.
It’s sad but true. People jealous of your success are often your closest relatives, friends and colleagues. People you grew up with, who had the same chances of success you did, who see themselves reflected in you. Those who wonder, “why her and not me?” That’s why high school reunions are so tough on mostly everyone, except those who made it big. All attendees are the same age, went to the same high school, lived in the same neighborhood…
The cheerleader who put on thirty pounds and at forty works as a cashier in the local fast food restaurant will probably avoid the reunion, choosing instead to keep the memories of the good old times. But if she went, she’d probably be among the people jealous of your success because she could have made it but she didn’t.
What to do with people who are jealous of your success at home
It may be harder to deal with sibling rivalry (usually more severe between siblings of the same gender) than with people jealous of your success in the office. You can change jobs but you can’t change sisters. Yet, if your sister is one of the people jealous of your success who makes you feel inadequate, it’s time to take action.
Think about this—Unless you are among the very few lucky people who made it to the top with little work and less talent, I’m sure you worked hard for your success. So you deserve it and there’s no need (or room) to apologize for it. That doesn’t mean that your sibling (cousin or close girlfriend) didn’t work hard. She may be working as hard as you but not getting results. The best antidote? Help her! It’s harder for people jealous of your success to continue feeling that way if you help them achieve their goals.
But if, after you spend a substantial amount of time helping your sister or your friend with her goals, you don’t see her attitude change, it may be time to take a step back. Back and away from her. People who are jealous of your success can bring toxic energy into your life. Sharing less with them about your success may be the best way to protect yourself from their negative vibes.
Other Helpful Resources – For More How to Deal with People Jealous of Your Success Tips
- Don’t let jealous people stand in the way of your professional success!
- 8 Ways to Get Noticed on the Job
- Success Story: Anna Giraldo Kerr, CEO Shades of Success Inc.
What to do with people jealous of your success at work
Now professional jealousy is a whole different ballgame. Dealing with people jealous of your success at work can be tough for many reasons. These people may be your boss, they may undermine your work by bad mouthing you, they may try to ruin your next promotion, and so on. So here are a few tactics to minimize their impact:
- Be as inclusive as possible. This means offer team members plenty of chances to be part of your projects. When you succeed, they succeed.
- Offer others opportunities for high visibility and recognition. (If you’re organizing an event, ask them to co-host it or to say a few words to the audience.
- Praise their work in front of their bosses and supervisors. (Find real things worthy of your praise so it feels very real.)
- Thank them for the part they play in your success. (Maybe this is the reason actors thank a long list of people when they receive an Oscar? To make sure jealous people won’t spoil their happiness?)
At times it may be impossible to mitigate the feelings of people who are jealous of your success. After all, you can only control how you feel and what you do with those feelings. Unfortunately, there will always be unhappy individuals who, rather than focus on what they could be doing different to achieve career success, spend their time and energy envying others. It may be wiser to work on how you react to jealousy rather than on how to make people who are jealous of you see the light.
Understanding that their jealousy speaks more about who they are than about you is a great place to start. Remember: Never let jealous people stand in the way of your success.
Note: The 7 Red Shoe Movement Principles poster can be purchased to display at the office and encourage more women to support each other.