How to deal with people who are jealous of your success
Don’ t waste energy in people who are jealous of your success. Learn how to deal with them in a positive way: Help them achieve their own success! Read how!
The closer two people are in age, education and background, the more competitive they can be with each other. Look around: people jealous of your success tend to be your peers and even your siblings.
It’s sad but true. People jealous of your success are often your closest relatives, friends and colleagues. People you grew up with, who had the same chances of success you did, who see themselves reflected in you. Those who wonder, “why her and not me?” That’s why high school reunions are so tough on mostly everyone, except those who made it big. All attendees are the same age, went to the same high school, lived in the same neighborhood…
The cheerleader who put on thirty pounds and at forty works as a cashier in the local fast food restaurant will probably avoid the reunion, choosing instead to keep the memories of the good old times. But if she went, she’d probably be among the people jealous of your success because she could have made it but she didn’t.
What to do with people who are jealous of your success at home
It may be harder to deal with sibling rivalry (usually more severe between siblings of the same gender) than with people jealous of your success in the office. You can change jobs but you can’t change sisters. Yet, if your sister is one of the people jealous of your success who makes you feel inadequate, it’s time to take action.
Think about this—Unless you are among the very few lucky people who made it to the top with little work and less talent, I’m sure you worked hard for your success. So you deserve it and there’s no need (or room) to apologize for it. That doesn’t mean that your sibling (cousin or close girlfriend) didn’t work hard. She may be working as hard as you but not getting results. The best antidote? Help her! It’s harder for people jealous of your success to continue feeling that way if you help them achieve their goals.
But if, after you spend a substantial amount of time helping your sister or your friend with her goals, you don’t see her attitude change, it may be time to take a step back. Back and away from her. People who are jealous of your success can bring toxic energy into your life. Sharing less with them about your success may be the best way to protect yourself from their negative vibes.
Other Helpful Resources – For More How to Deal with People Jealous of Your Success Tips
- Don’t let jealous people stand in the way of your professional success!
- 8 Ways to Get Noticed on the Job
- Success Story: Anna Giraldo Kerr, CEO Shades of Success Inc.
What to do with people jealous of your success at work
Now professional jealousy is a whole different ballgame. Dealing with people jealous of your success at work can be tough for many reasons. These people may be your boss, they may undermine your work by bad mouthing you, they may try to ruin your next promotion, and so on. So here are a few tactics to minimize their impact:
- Be as inclusive as possible. This means offer team members plenty of chances to be part of your projects. When you succeed, they succeed.
- Offer others opportunities for high visibility and recognition. (If you’re organizing an event, ask them to co-host it or to say a few words to the audience.
- Praise their work in front of their bosses and supervisors. (Find real things worthy of your praise so it feels very real.)
- Thank them for the part they play in your success. (Maybe this is the reason actors thank a long list of people when they receive an Oscar? To make sure jealous people won’t spoil their happiness?)
At times it may be impossible to mitigate the feelings of people who are jealous of your success. After all, you can only control how you feel and what you do with those feelings. Unfortunately, there will always be unhappy individuals who, rather than focus on what they could be doing different to achieve career success, spend their time and energy envying others. It may be wiser to work on how you react to jealousy rather than on how to make people who are jealous of you see the light.
Understanding that their jealousy speaks more about who they are than about you is a great place to start. Remember: Never let jealous people stand in the way of your success.
Note: The 7 Red Shoe Movement Principles poster can be purchased to display at the office and encourage more women to support each other.
This is better than the other 10 articles I’ve read on the subject. Still wish there was a bit more guidance out there besides keeping your distance from someone who seems determined to sabotage you. Keeping my distance is just not really possible because family’s involved and may be making things worse because now I am being criticized for keeping my distance. Thank you.
I think my oldest friend is sabotaging my son’s success even though it might be un conscious. I am devastated and feel so betrayed. How can i work through my feelings?
Sorry to hear this Jane. It’s hard to give you advice without more information, but learning more about unconscious biases may help you have a non-confrontational conversation with your friend. And perhaps having an honest conversation when you are calm, (and not in the heat of the moment) may also help.
I purchased a house last June. I am 33 years old and bought a house worth $450,000. I am very successful for my age. When I moved in I had a neighbor 3 Doors Down that hasn’t smiled at me yet. He just kind of glares and is very passive aggressive with me. I have been nothing but happy and friendly and he just seems to belittle and make me feel stupid. In the winters he will shoveled both neighbors between us up to my driveway and he’s doing it to prove a point to me. Something to do with taking care of the community I don’t know and I don’t need that. It was my first winter so I was just trying to get used to the community and I was also doing a bunch of Renovations so busy busy. Anyway he sits out front of my immediate neighbors house in between us and passively talks about helping whenever she might need it while I walk to my front door after work. I mean, that just makes me look really bad and then he kind of glares at me. I know for a fact that this man Is completely jealous of me. He’s 55 years old and he hates his neighbor on the other side I know I would. He’s a smaller man than me drives a big truck clearly he has some serious insecurity issues. He is just jealous that I got the house in the corner that has a nice big backyard I know it for a fact. There have been a few times where he’s tried to go over my head and I just kind of laugh and shake my head actually. It annoys me that he thinks he has control of the cul-de-sac. He is stepping on my toes and I don’t appreciate it, what should I do?
l teach in a primary school. Most of my colleagues give me cold shoulder when they see their pupils around me, their parents prefer me to coach their children( after school lesson) instead of their class teacher this has brought so much hatred and malice. Even when l try to persuade the pupils to be coached by their teachers they refuse. l am talking about little children of 5-9 year olds.l Feel like I am alone and doing the extra that brings about the likeness and commendations from parents and pupils is doing more harm than good
Congratulations for getting such great results! Perhaps you could find out from the parents what is it that the other teachers could do differently so they’d take each student to their actual teacher for after school support. With that insight, maybe you could host a couple of workshops for any teachers who want to do after school tutoring/coaching. Keep up the great work!
This title of this article addresses an important and recurrent issue in most people’s lives however, the article itself could offer readers more guidance on the “what to do” part. Some people act on their envy and work destructively behind the scenes to sabotage the person’s success. I experienced this first hand with my mother in law and sister in law, both of whom took their envy to a whole new level making me and family look bad in front of other family members. Sadly, my husband failed to realize their insecurity behind our success and this brought out the worst in me. I reacted after tolerating their bullying for 6 years and I was made to look like the bad one.
Thanks for sharing your experience. And yes, there’s always room for improvement in our posts 🙂 We will consider your suggestion for a future one.